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Payback's a Bitch
or
The G-boys Get Their Revenge
"Okaeri, Duo!"
Quatre's cheerful greeting instantly caught Heero's attention; he had been listening for it all evening, after all. Duo was not usually one to stay out of whatever safehouse the pilots were tenanting at the moment for the entire day, unless he needed to go shopping. That was a rare occurrence as well, unless one of the others accompanied him to the store. Duo had a tendency to . . . let loose, in public areas. Especially around portable yogurts, celery, and batteries. Damn him and his batteries.
But that was for later reflection. Duo was finally back and now Heero could put him through the Third Degree. The malicious gleam in the American boy's eyes before he had left on Wufei's motorcycle that morning had been enough to pique his interest, and Heero wanted to know what was going on. If not to snicker about Duo's latest antics, then to prepare himself—and possibly the others—against them. Wufei still had not forgiven the Deathscythe pilot for the bleach incident. Heero had to admit, though, that if you had painted fake wrinkles onto Wufei's face afterwards, you would have had a very accurate rendition of Wufei at age 80. White hair and all.
So Heero steeled himself for the worst as Duo flounced into their room, a positively evil smile situated firmly on his face. He tossed a small paper bag toward Heero, who deftly plucked it out of the air and took a look inside.
Pulling out the single object contained within, Heero raised a questioning eyebrow at his partner. Duo smirked back, but said nothing. Heero turned the puzzling thing around in his hands, trying to discern its purpose, but finally gave up.
"Duo . . . what is this?"
If it was possible, the grin on Duo's face grew even bigger and self-satisfied. "That, my dear Heero, is the way to put a few people I can name through hell."
Heero did not see how this cube could do so, and indicated as much.
Duo explained.
Heero started to genuinely smile—or smirk. And went to hunt down a box and some packing tape.
========
A week later, Heero booted up his laptop to find a few messages waiting for his perusal. All of which had the "Priority One" marker following them.
With a smirk, he went to fetch Duo before opening the first one. Duo chortled as he leaned over his shoulder, rubbing his hands together.
"This is gonna be rich."
After unscrambling what appeared to be an advertisement for some resort in Europe with the appropriate code, a grainy image of Dr. J appeared on the screen. The usually collected cyborg looked decidedly harassed.
"Heero, I demand to know the meaning of the package you sent me. Is it some sort of OZ code, or a key—?"
Duo burst out laughing right around there, so Heero hastily blocked the computer screen before the braided boy could spray all over it. Hooting with laughter, Duo collapsed backwards onto his bed, legs kicking in the air in sheer hilarity.
"Oh man, did you see the expression on his face? Classic! Who'd a' thought!" He degenerated into more incomprehensible hysterics, rolling around and clutching his stomach.
Even Heero had to chuckle a little. If Dr. J had followed the note included, all of the scientists would be taking a crack at the thing soon. All of the other messages were of the same cloth, though each increasing in urgency. This seemed to be directly proportionate to Duo's amusement factor.
It was more than five minutes before Duo finally stopped laughing and straightened up. His indigo eyes shone devilishly. "That trip to the antique store wasn't wasted one bit. Payback's a bitch, ne Hee-chan?"
Heero nodded. There were times when he was thankful that there was one who had Duo's combination of genetics and upbringing, to have been blessed with such a creative mind. Then there were other times that he was thankful there only was the one. Right now he couldn't decide which.
A soft sound brought both pilots' heads around, to see Quatre rapping politely on their doorframe. The Arabian boy seemed confused.
"Heero, I just received a strange message from Doktor S and he mentions you prominently. Do you have any idea . . .?"
That set Duo off again. Quatre cast an adorably perplexed look in the braided boy's direction. Heero sighed, hauled his lover upright by the arms, and gave him a good shake. Quatre winced involuntarily; he could hear Duo's teeth rattling even where he stood.
"G-g-g-om-men, I'll b-be g-g-g-ood!" Duo managed to make out. Heero stopped and peered at him critically. Duo looked a bit dazed, but managed to smile brightly. "Promise, Hee-chan, really."
"Hn." Heero swiveled to look back at Quatre. The blonde looked understandably bewildered now, not to mention slightly worried. If whatever it was had Duo in such a state . . . he mentally crossed his fingers and hoped that the next shopping list didn't have anything other than the normal supplies on it. Especially bleach.
"D-duo? What's going on?" Try as he might, he couldn't keep the slight quaver out of his voice. Luckily for him, Duo picked up on it and flashed him a reassuring smile.
"Ah, nothin' bad, Q-man. At least not for us." He raised an eyebrow. "Did your Doc mention something about a problem he couldn't solve?"
Quatre nodded, relief suffusing his features. Hopefully the bleach would stay off the list. "Yes, he seemed very upset about it."
"Heh." Duo leaned back against the desk, hands bracing him from behind. He had a knowing little smile playing around his lips, and his eyes were closed; the very picture of smugness. "And yet Heero and I solved it in less than five minutes." Heero nodded agreement. Really, it wasn't that hard once you got the trick of it . . . and Duo liked to play chess as well, so that helped in planning future moves . . .
By now, Quatre was dying to know. "What are you talking about?"
"One word, Quatre." The Arabian tilted his head inquiringly.
"Yes . . .?"
Duo's eyes opened, filled with the complacency of a cat who had not only the canary, but a few dishes of cream and a fish as well. Heero knew exactly why Quatre looked like he did: with Duo, anything was possible, really.
"Rubix."
~owari~
Notes: *snicker* Well, I don't like the scientists all that much . . . could you tell? But seriously, a Rubix cube isn't that hard; I'm blowing its difficulty factor way out of proportion, as you probably know by now. *shrugs* Another insane idea that suddenly tripped me up one day, jumping up and down and squeaking "Write me! Write me!" ^_^;;
Where Duo found the Rubix cube would probably be an antique antique store. Think about it.