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P.S. I Love You
A contemplative piece by Ami-chan
Dear Ryo,
This comes to you in words
because my heart has no ability to speak out loud.
Even as this pen scratches down unfeeling script,
I quail against writing it.
Don't think of me as weak, I implore you.
The fortress that has been my heart for so long
has crumbled under your gentle, unknowing onslaught,
and it scares me.
The way you smile,
the fiery blue of your eyes,
the way you exude life from every pore,
every movement;
those are just some of your weapons of siege,
tools that worm their way through my defenses
no matter how much I try to keep them out.
It is strange,
that I have the ability to feel this way about
another.
Breaking my solitude to let one in so close,
treacherously close, if they choose to make it so.
Always that risk involved
in whatever we do.
Not physical or bodily, as we take on in battle,
but the intangible but yet so painful ache of spirit.
But somehow, I know
that if I allow you in,
I won't be hurt like before.
Your pain is mine,
and every tear I shed is
a tiny piece of it.
I realized something today,
along with the fact that I can't say it out loud
Yet.
Not yet,
but someday.
I must go now,
but remember these words
and the words that will someday come.
I hope you will have the patience to wait for them.
P.S. I love you.
========
With a soft sigh, the hiss of ink on paper stopped. As the pen was put down, heavy eyes regarded the neat writing with sharp comparison, thinking of another, far more elegant hand that he so wished was in its place.
Another sigh, and callused fingers picked up the sheet. Blue eyes narrowed in concentration, and flame just as blue roared into life. It consumed its scant fuel within seconds, so utterly torched as to not even leave ashes behind.
"What are you doing?"
He turned to face a questioning violet orb, peering curiously at him from the door. With an oddly sad smile, he rose and walked past him.
"Entertaining a fantasy.
"Nothing more."
~owari~
Notes: OOC and lovesick Ryos are just wonderfully angsty, ne?? *grins maniacally* Not that Sanada-Kanji-Should-Be-Guilt-Ryo would ever be arrogant enough to try this, hm? Or that's what I think, anyway.
The inspiration for this fic came from a YST artbook called—naturally—P.S. I Love You. The phrase just struck me as oddly . . . well I dunno, inspirational? The story basically wrote itself around that.