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Seiji-sama
another demented fic by Shala-chan
Seiji-sama. The one phrase Sage dreaded. The one phrase that he never wanted to hear. The one thing that he was more afraid of than darkness. And the one thing . . . that he heard at least five times a day from six different shrieking adolescent girls.
Sage Date slumped over, put his head in his hands, and sighed. He was trying to meditate, not give himself nightmares.
"Nightmares again?" his "little sister" asked.
"Technically . . ." he replied, sighing. "Why do girls chase after me?"
"That's like Cole asking me why his girlfriend would break up with him. I have no answer. Although, if I may hazard a guess . . ."
"Go right ahead."
"Hair. Hair, face, body, manner, you name it. You are too much of a gentleman."
"No I'm not."
"Well, not around me and the guys," the girl amended. "But you treat most people politely, even if you want to snarl at them. Snarl. It'll chase 'em off."
"That's easy for you to say. You're a social outcast."
"And lovin' every minute of it."
"I really hate you sometimes." He almost wished they could have a wrestling match. Just to get out frustration. But his little sister, while shorter than him by a few inches, was bigger than he was. And younger, with less training. Not to mention that she was a girl.
But she was still bigger. He sighed.
"Most of it's fat, you know," Shala said. "Unlike Kento, who's mostly muscle. 'Sides, I'm not that much bigger n' you." He looked at her. "You're leaking."
"Oh, thanks . . ."
"Anytime. What's the problem with girls?"
"The Word," Sage said. His voice was filled with dread. Shala giggled. "What?"
"You just sound so funny when you say that."
"It's not funny."
"Well, if you look at it objectively, it's hilarious! But I understand your predicament."
"I doubt it."
"Well, it's not like I've got guys flinging themselves at me . . . . there's only one who I'll let do that. What started this train of thought again?"
"Yesterday."
"Jing was joking! Geez, Sage! Can't you take a joke?"
"She sounded like she meant it."
"Well . . . at one time she would have."
"WHAT?"
"Calm down! I was just pulling your leg!" :Actually . . .: Shala's thought trailed off. Sage glared. "So she had an eensy crush on you. Big deal. At least she's not Kodachi."
"A short sword?"
"No . . . that girl from Ranma. Remember?"
"The crazy gymnast?"
"Yeah." Sage thought a moment.
"She scared me."
"You and me both, kid. You and me both."
"Hey who're you calling a kid?"
"Figure of speech, or saying, or whatever, baka."
"That's not funny."
"Actually, it is." He glared. She stuck out her tongue. "I really do agree with you on the Kodachi part, though. That girl is crazier than her brother."
"Same could be said of you."
"I don't have a brother; just a sister."
"And who is it who keeps calling us her brothers?"
"Um . . . you started it!" She paused. "Seiji-sama," she added mockingly. He swung. She ducked. "You'll never get in a hit," she teased. "Too - oof! Hey! You aren't supposed to hit girls!"
"You aren't one," Sage smirked.
"You . . . take . . . that . . . back!" Shala smacked his arm.
"Ow!"
Shala smirked. "You asked for it."
"You insulted me first."
"I mocked you. There's a big difference."
"Oh, really."
"Yes, really. Ask anyone. Mocking and insulting are completely different ways of achieving the same end."
"And what end is this?"
"Pissing people off." Sage nodded.
"I can understand that."
"No, I don't know if you really do . . ."
"Believe me, I do. I live with some of the most annoying people in the world, remember?"
"Well, yeah, but . . ."
"And you are my adopted sister. How many examples daily do you give me of mockery versus insult?"
"Um . . . about a thousand, Mushroom Boy."
"Don't call me that!"
"Oh, I see your point. Nevermind, Seiji-sama."
"ARGH!"
Oh, yeesh, this one was bad. Almost entirely dialogue. Actually, I wrote this awhile ago . . . months, it's been. Probably at least six. Pathetic, ne? But really, our friend had this huge obsession with Goldilocks for awhile. Well, just Seiji. But seriously, she was bad for awhile. Almost as bad as me. -_-;; But anyway, it got me thinking that it's fun to tease Sage. It is! We all have fun with Sage torture! Just like Rowen torture, and Sai torture, and Duo torture! Whoohoo! Um, anyway, I need to go take a shower so I can actually get dressed. I've got some major shopping to do today! *mutter* I hate new clothing - it's never comfy enough. Oh well. This has been Shala-chan, signing out. Mingtian jian!
P.S. I forgot my disclaimer, but you know all that jazz by now. Not mine, etc., etc. Except for the fic. I wrote it. So it's © Shala-chan 2000